Jokes on Time

time. Some jokes are new other are old but all of them will surely make you smile. If you know some other jokes on this topic feel free to write them as comments. Mechanical and quartz watches is a very serious topic to talk about, so why not make it a little more entertaining. Keep on smiling and the the world will smile at you.Don's WisdomAn old Italian Mafia Don is dying and he called his grandson to his bed Grandson I wanta you to listen to me. I wanta you to take mya 45 automatic pistol, so you will always remember me. Pointa to you watch and say, "TIMES UP"?What Time is it?BLONDE: "Excuse me, what time is it right now?"WOMAN: "It's 11:25PM."BLONDE: (confused look on face) "You know, it's the weirdest thing, I've asked that question thirty times today, and every time someone gives me a different answer." Who's Calling?One day the tower received a call from an aircraft asking, "What time is it?" The tower responded, "Who is calling?" The aircraft replied, "What difference does it make?" The tower replied "It makes a lot of difference.1) If it is an American Airlines flight, it is 3 o'clock.2) If it is an Air Force plane, it is 1500 hours.3) If it is a Navy aircraft, it is 6 bells.4) If it is an Army aircraft, the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 3.5) If it is a Marine Corps aircraft, it's Thursday afternoon and 120 minutes to "Happy Hour."Vacation in TibetA man and his wife are on vacation in Tibet. While shopping in a small village, the wife asks her husband what time it was, and looking down at his wrist the man realized he had left his watch in the motel room.

Breitling Chrono Avenger

"You're so worried about your stupid BMW, that you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off!!!""Oh my gaaad....", replied the lawyer, finally noticing the bloody left shoulder where his arm once was, "Where's my Rolex???!!!"Talking ClockProudly showing off his new apartment to a couple of his friends late one night the drunk led the way to his bedroom where there was a big brass gong. "What's that big brass gong for?" one of the guests asked. "It's not a gong. It's a talking clock" the drunk replied. "A talking clock? Seriously?" asked his astonished friend."Yup" replied the drunk.The way people keep track of time is constantly changing. Today it is possible to find out time displayed by a cell phone, the clock in the car, or from the computer screen. Modern people are somehow reluctant to check their watch - they want the watch check them. For example, a BlackBerry may produce beeps and vibrations to remind its owner of his/her obligations.Even if someone is afraid to become a slave to such beeps, it provides an easy way to automate a lot of things that otherwise he/she would have to do manually, for example trying to keep in mind when it's time to attend a dentist or call a business partner.Some people claim they do wear a watch when they need to look 'put together.' Unfortunately, for some people a watch has become a symbol of stress. That is why taking off their watch means the end of stressful commitments during the day, and moving into a relaxing realm where the time is not so important.

Quotes on Time

"The only reason for time is so that everything doesn't happen at once."(Albert Einstein)"Time stays long enough for anyone who will use it."(Leonardo Da Vinci)"Dictionaries are like watches; the worst is better than none, and the best cannot be expected to be quite true." (Samuel L. Jackson)"The real problem of leisure time is how to keep others from using yours."(Arthur Lacey)"Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so."(Douglas Adams)"Oh! Do not attack me with your watch. A watch is always too fast or too slow. It reminds us to cherish each moment, because it will never come again. What we leave behind is not as important as how we have lived. "(Captain Jean-Luc Picard)"No time like the present."The design of the new Serena Garbo really catches your attention. It's soft curves and smooth feel make the watch look classy and at the same time modern. Stylish design represents a true Bertolucci signature. Both comfort and harmony allow this watch to be a great choice for all occasions, and for everyday wear. Its specially designed hands have an off-centered luminescent groove, which make it easy to read the time in the dark.The newly designed masculine line called Serena Garbo, represents a new wave of classical timepieces, being trendy and authentic.Again the husband does as he is instructed."Now look underneath the donkeys balls, and between his two front legs." The husband does just that."Now" the man says, "can you see the clock on the wall of that building over there?"Social TimeA social worker asks a colleague: "What time is it?

URWERK 201 - Shark-Inspired Watch

The dots gradually get filled with a different color: first they become blue, then red - thus marking the elapse of every successive five-minute period.The dial in silver-black color combination features applied faceted hour markers and luminous dots above them. At 3 o'clock there is a black counter with a silvery edge around it. It offers a clear indication of the elapsed minutes, with blue and red markings indicating the two five-minute periods up to the start. The smaller hour counter is found at 12 o'clock, while a small seconds counter is placed at 9 o'clock. The push buttons are found on the side of the case at 8 and 10 o'clock. They add to the Seamaster's well-balanced, harmonious look. A seahorse, the legendary symbol of the Seamaster collection, is featured on the case back.It is a chronometer-certified mechanism that provides a 40-hour power reserve. Elaborated for the regatta, the timepiece represents a high-precision instrument that gives its owner an opportunity to measure performance to one-eighth of a second. The OMEGA Seamaster NZL-32 is designed to satisfy the major needs of Dean Barker and his crew during a regatta. The timepiece is provided with 'start of the regatta' function that indicates the ten minutes before the starting signal. A special indicator composed of five dots displays the function.The skeleton Super-LumiNova-coated hour and minute hands and the red hands and of the chronograph counters provide the timepiece with supreme readability. The ideally polished and brushed stainless steel case of the OMEGA Seamaster NZL-32 reveals the distinctive shape and horns of the Seamaster line.

Review of the Traser Classic Automatic

I was particularly struck by the unique, stark, and tough look of the Attesa ATD53-2903. Of course, as is typical of most of the coolest Japanese watches, it's only available in Asia, but since watches know no borders, I was still able to find plenty of information:List price is ¥68,250 (about $600 USD as of 12/21/07).39mm in diameter, 10.9mm thick, and 47g heavy.24-hour indices on the chapter ring.DLC coated titanium case (read more about Diamond Like Carbon).Eco-drive (solar-powered quartz).100m water resistant (about 330 feet).Atomic Radio-set (but only receives the Japanese time signal — bummer).±15 seconds per month (with no radio reception).Sapphire crystal with anti-reflective coating.Calf skin band (would really love to see a matching DLC titanium bracelet option). It's extremely useful for people like pilots, travelers, and businesspeople who not only need to be able to switch between different time zones easily, but who also need to be able to keep track of two time zones simultaneously.The addition of the GMT hand came in the mid-1950s when Pan Am worked with Rolex to create a watch for pilots flying transatlantic flights. You can read more about the history of GMT watches in Christian's review of the Rolex GMT Master II. But for now, back to Citizen.I recently learned that Citizen has added several new GMT models to their Attesa line of high-end quartz watches.I really like the look of the Citizen Attesa ATD53-2903. I like the clean and readable face since I find that jet lag reduces my comprehension, and I get very grumpy about unreadable watches while traveling internationally.

Black Watches: The PVD and IP Processes

That's the general process, however there are a lot of subtle variations like using charged ions for the ion plated variation. PVD has been around since 1838 and is heavily used in semiconductor manufacturing, automobiles, and many other places including, or course, watches.PVD results in a coating up to a micron or so thick that's tightly bonded to the base material. It won't flake off, as the coating is interpenetrated with the underlying material which is what makes it different from paint, powder coats, or anodizing. If you hit it with sufficient force, however, you can go through the PVD and into the material below, and since it's still a coating, polishing to remove scratches is not recommended.Another more advanced technique is Chemical Vapor Deposition, or CVD. The titanium nitride hardening on the Citizen PMT56-2711 that I reviewed is the product of CVD, and holds up extremely well.Better still is DLC, or diamond-like Carbon, where, via secret-sauce processes, the su***ce of a watch is coated with something very much like synthetic diamond! With an incredible su***ce hardness, this is very nearly impossible to scratch, and can been seen on some high-end Citizens like the Attesa, on the Casio MR-G watches, and on watches like the Rado V10K. DLC is also used in the engines of most super sport motorcycles, on implantable human heart pumps, and in other exotic tasks than can afford the artistry required to create it.In the world of watches, PVD is most commonly used to produce a flat black "stealth" finish which is quite attractive.

Review of the Oceanus 5 Motor Tide Graph (OCWM700TDA

In thepast couple of weeks, it has missed syncing onlytwice and that is most likely due to my placing itnear some electronic equipment overnight.I found it very difficult to sync the watch duringthe daytime and if you ever listen to shortwaveradio you will understand the reasons for this:it's almost always easier to pick up a weak shortwavesignal at night. Casio probably knows this and thisis why the watch is programmed to attempt syncingat 12:00am and for the next 4 hours on the hour.All in all, it's a great watch. I got the titaniumwatchband since I tend to wear out leather andrubber watchbands fairly quickly. It's a bit moreexpensive then the other bands (I paid $239) but I think it will be worth it.Thanks, Sam. I couldn't have said it better myself. All I have to add is:But I quickly got used to thissmall limitation. The small ring is also used by thebarometer to indicate falling or rising pressure.One other small difference is that the stopwatchand the countdown timer mode now have the hourcounter in the top window (which is not such abig change if you remember which mode you're in(you lose the mode indicators "STW" and "TMR"after about a second and they are replaced by a"0H" which if fine unless you confuse it with"OH!"). The stopwatch mode also moved theone hundredths counter to the top window aswell. This is small and a bit harder to see, but it'sa sacrifice I gladly made to have a smaller watch.I live in RTP, NC andthe radio receiver seems to pick up the ColoradoSprings atomic clock without any trouble about90% of the time (usually on first try at 12:05am).

The New Seiko Mechanical Line (SARB027, SARB029, SARB030)

The "Almost" portion of the title referred to the unfortunate fact that it was only compatible with Japanese atomic clocks. Casio has finally come through for us Yanks, however, and according to this press release, the PAW1200 series will not only work with the US atomic time signal, but it will actually be sold here in the US, as well. Good for me, bad for my Japanese connection who won't make any money off me this time. I have all of these features already, but unfortunately, they're spread across multiple watches. I've been waiting for Casio to squeeze them all into a single timepiece for a very long time.It looks like there will be three variations available: the PAW1200T-7V with a titanium bracelet for $380, the PAW1200-1V with a black resin strap for $300, and the PAW1200-3V in green resin, also for $300. These prices are MSRP, so expect to pay a little less after discounts. I expect them to be in stores and online in March, but I don't know for sure. I will post here as soon as I have confirmation that they're available. Additional Resources:Review of the Casio Pathfinder PAW1200Review of the Casio Pathfinder PAW1300-3V » For updates on content, follow Watch Report on Twitter.I haven't seen the final specifications on these watches yet, but I would expect the following features: Atomic timekeeping (obviously). Solar powered with at least a 20-month power reserve, maybe better. Thermometer which will actually convert the temperature into fahrenheit. Compass. Barometer. Barometric altimeter. World time with support for at least 30 cities pre-programmed. Stopwatch. Countdown timer. 5 daily alarms.